jcs-apprentice

Router

2004-10-12T22:56:00.000+10:00

I bought a router to connect more than one computer to the internet at one time. Also so that Susan can write her blogs in bed on the lap-top. It has a cardbus adapter that is wireless. Trouble is, our main computer has spat the dummy and won't connect through the ethernet cable connection. Very frustrating.

China

2004-08-26T21:57:00.000+10:00

China

When I was in China, I went to the war museum in Beijing. I was really touched by the nationalistic pride. I have been to the war museum in Canberra and saw how we Australians honor those that died for our country. I saw the same thing in China and it made me realize that we are all alike in our love for our countries. It was not a communist thing, it was honoring the people and their sacrifice.
It also opened my eyes to the suffering of so many Chinese under the vicious cruelty of the Japanese. Some Australians had an experience in the prisoner of war camps, but the Chinese suffered across the country.
Then they had that nut Mao Tse-tung and so many died under that regime. Yet, I personally know a number of Chinese people and they are the friendliest and kindest people that I know. Even in China, the people working for us, poor carpenters, invited me home to have a meal with them and to a restaurant to have a real slap-up feast as well. When I tried to pay, they were offended and insisted that they pay, even though it cost them their whole weeks pay for one meal for me!
This attitude is normal in almost every-one that I met and it really changed my attitude to Chinese people. Not that I knew any before I went to China, except for the girl behind the counter at the local Chinese restaurant.
They have a different culture and way of doing things, but they are great people and very friendly.
I was so impressed that I bought the company.....just kidding, but I did something that I never imagined myself doing in a thousand years, probably because it never entered my head, I married a beautiful Chinese girl and now have three beautiful children.
My wife has a quietness of spirit that is very calming and makes me feel very relaxed at home.
I feel very blessed to to know Xiu Xin and even more blessed to love her and to have her love in my heart.
God bless the Chinese!

2004-08-22T00:37:00.000+10:00

Susan and Kate outside the Opera House.

Resisting temptation.

2004-07-30T22:35:00.000+10:00

Resisting temptation.

Some times we forget that we can resist temptation, or even what temptation is. Some things creep in so slightly at a time, that we don't even notice that we have changed in our attitude to church, prayer, giving etc. Even after we have been Christians for a very long time, we forget.
Even then, it is hard to keep focused on our need to change our behaviour, as it becomes a lifestyle.
It seems the only way to change, is to do the exact opposite to what that inner voice is now telling you what to do.
Because we have become accustomed to ignoring the Holy Spirit and listening to what pleases our flesh, needs, work or a million other things calling for our attention.
When Jesus said " Thy (God's) will be done on earth as it is in Heaven", well, everything in Heaven is perfect, right! Then it stands to reason, that God's will done on earth will bring perfection to our lives as well.
When we don't follow the leading of the Holy Spirit, we are not following the will of God, and therefore live less than the perfect calling of God in our lives. That doesn't mean that we all have to be missionaries, but it does mean we should be willing to have a servant heart and to help others in any way that we feel the slightest urging of the Holy Spirit.
If we don't follow the Will of God, then we are letting ourselves down, we are letting our wife/husband down, we are letting our children down, we are letting our families, workmates, friends, churches and even strangers down. Most of all, we are letting the most precious one in our lives down, Jesus!

Oh Lord, create in me a clean heart and re-new a right spirit within me!

Going to Heaven

2004-06-23T22:59:00.000+10:00

Going to Heaven

I was thinking today at work, what my kids think of going to Heaven.
My eldest girl Ellie, when she was just five, was very concerned about me going to Heaven without her. She told me that " When you go to Heaven, don't leave me behind, when you go, I will hang onto you legs and go with you.
Then Jamie can hang onto my legs and Katie onto hers, and we can all go together." When I asked Jamie if she wanted to go to heaven, she said that she didn't want to go as "you have to get your head chopped off to get into heaven."
Funny how kids think, eh?

Spiritual pride

2004-06-14T23:21:00.000+10:00

Spiritual pride.

What is Spiritual pride anyway, I heard a woman use this in her talk on Communion the other day. She said that some young girls crossed their path and said something to them, she didn't elucidate, but said that she got angry and felt like slapping one of these girls. She said it was Spiritual pride?
I kind of assumed that it was Spiritual pride when you assumed that you knew more or perhaps thought you had a better relationship with God than others.

I know that the Holy Spirit has shared some wonderful insights with me, both in understanding some of the mysteries of the Bible, and also including different approaches to doing cetain jobs that I have been doing a particular way for years.

I install kitchens, by the way, and when I share these insights with other installers, they are amazed and even come back months later to tell what a great idea that was that I showed them.
When they ak me how got to know this method, I always say "Your not going to believe this, but the Holy Spirit told me."
They usually go quiet for a few seconds, then change the subject.

I guess that I am kind of proud of what God has taught me, and when I meet others of a fixed position on any certain matter that I don't agree on, I do get a bit defensive of my position, because I do believe that the Holy Spirit has told me the right thing.
It's probably wrong, I know, I should'nt be proud of something that was given to me, the knowledge, I mean, but I do find it hard to suffer fools gladly.
At least, now, I don't get into arguments with them on their viewpoint, I just tell them my position and if they can draw anything fom that, then so be it.
I have tried to understand other religions or beliefs by reading up on them, but usually from a critical point of view.
When I first got saved, even the old Catholics, of which I was a very proud one, got a hammering, I read all the books on how they were mystery Babylon and how 666 fitted all the given names of Mary etc. etc. This went over like a lead balloon with my old man, and he dis-owned me as a son. I was only trying to let him see the error of his ways and get saved!!??!! Ahhh...zeal without wisdom, what a waste!
I don't know if it is pride or just satifaction in knowing more of God, I hope it is just satifaction, perhaps I should ask God......

Yoghurt

2004-06-10T22:24:00.000+10:00

Yoghurt

I was thinking the other day, how, when we are eating something that is yummy, how we, (me, any-how!), tend to wolf it down until the bowl is nearly empty. Then I will spend some time to scrape even the smallest scerrick up for that last taste.

Sometimes, relationships are a bit like that, we tend to have no control or place little value on time spent with loved ones, until that loved one decides to leave or is taken seriously ill or worse.

Then, in the case of a broken family, time spent with your child or children, becomes more precious than gold. Or in the case of a death of a friend or member of your family, regrets that you didn't make an effort to see them and say those things that you know you should have said.

This week in Sydney, there was a house fire, and a little 2yr old boy and 4yr old girl died as firemen tried to revive them on the front lawn. Their 7yr old brother, who was seriously burnt, died 3 days later, the mother died 2 days after that. they deadlocked the front door and couldn't get out, neither could the firemen get in!

They had seperated from the husband/father and lived in a small house. The mother was only 26yrs old. How would the father deal with that situation now, those so precious times spent with his kids are now gone forever. What regrets would he have, what should he have said, what should have he have done.

It really makes you appreciate those who love you when you realise that "there , but for the Grace of God go I".

Many of us have had tradgedies in our lives and the regrets that follow, but how soon do we forget and not take measures to limit our regrets if something else may happen, even to us.

Take the time to hug your child, a little longer.... To overlook that fault or wrong doing...To tell them how much they are worth and that they are only limited by their dreams.....To apologise to them, when you have been wrong or made a mistake....To kiss them and smile at them, a lot!....To let them know that they have a Father in Heaven and a Saviour who loves and cares for them every minute of the day....

I had a dream some years ago, and in this dream, I went back to a place that I lived when I was a child. I remembered that we, my brother and sisters, wrote our name in the concrete of a garage on the farm, (in my dream). When I went to the spot where I wrote it, those many years ago, I traced my finger along the grooves in the concrete and spelled my name again.

Regrets flooded over me when I realised all the dreams that I had as a child, that were killed of by negative attitudes, either from me or some-one else, saying that I wasn't good enough. I could've done so much, but took the easy road... maybe I should look for that track again.....

Riches won't make you happy!

2004-05-23T23:38:00.000+10:00

Riches won't make you happy!

I was on a job the other day, it is a house that is nearing completion and the owner has spent nearly five million in fitting it out! It is a very beautiful home, it has full water views and even a lift that is itself, a work of art inside. The owners sold a shopping centre for 82 million so money is no object. The husband is really nice, and is very understanding, but the wife, though nice on the surface, was somewhat surprising the other day. I was doing some extra's over the original contract, the cupboards were over $80,000, and she was cranky all day. She finally exploded in the evening when I asked her if she would like me to fix the entertainment unit to allow the speakers to be in the right position. She freaked out and said that she was sick of having to live like a Gypsy because there was still work to do in a few cupboards. If that's the way Gypsy's live, bring it on.....I was reading in 1 Kings, that the sum of 666 Talents of Gold was given to Solomon from Queen of Sheba. I wonder if that is the number of the beast that we should be looking out for. The modern day Church is driven for the desire for prosperity. Maybe our desire should be directed towards righteousness instead, then, at least, according to Peter, God's ears are open to our prayers and He promises to never let us beg for bread. I think that if we are too well of, our needs would be small and not important enough to bring before our Lord. Even Solomon, the wisest man (and richest) to ever draw breath, went off the rails in the end and ended up turning away from God to idols. I am not that wise, but I think that to have needs and to be satisfied with were we are, is much better. God will still prosper us, but gradually so that we can still have our needs met in Him. After all, as long as we walk in His will, and that is to obey His word, either written, Prophetic or revelation, ya can't go wrong and He will bless you, that's the new deal, written in the Blood of His Son, Jesus, and God's word is law and cannot be broken. Hallelujah!!!

God's Gift

2004-05-23T23:24:00.000+10:00

God's Gift

This is a copy of an email I sent to a friend that wanted to know how I met my wife Susan. It is a shortened version as to tell all the details wouls take to long.

Yes Susan is my wife, I was at a Rodney Howard Brown week of meetings, and
though I didn't get any laughing or anyhing, a little bit of shaking though,
but I did have many visions. In one, I was chasing something around a dark
room, but could not find it, nor see what it was. Then a door opened, and
Susan stood in the doorway, it was exactly her, there was a number of
identifiable characteristics about her, and she had a big smile on her face.
The open door let in the light and allowed me to see what was in the room, it was a spider, I found it and crushed it under-foot. Then the roof of the room then lifted back like a lid and when I looked up, I saw Jesus looking down from way up in the sky, kind of like behind a balcony of clouds,and there was also some angels around Him. I didn't quite know what to do, so I waved and He waved back. He then said
very clearly, that "This is your wife," I said, hang on, I don't even know
anybody that looks like this, besides my wife has to look like........( insert what I imagined my wife should look like)He said again, "This is your wife" and I was taken around the huge auditorium in the spirit, twice and back to my body. I didn't quite know what to make of it, so I sort of thought that it was interesting but probably my imagination. I also had a vision of Jesus coming out of a door at the head of some stairs and coming down and standing on a step higher than I was. I
was working in Sydney for a week while the conference was on to pay for my
time down there. There was a young guy on one of the jobs, the son of the
client, and he was a yuppy Buddhist. When I told him about the vision of
Jesus, he freaked right out. When I went back home to Port Macquarie, I got
a call from my boss in Taree, I was in trouble for witnessing on the job
again, the guys mother rang up and complained. I went in to get the sack,
but got a another final warning, as I was leaving , I said that I heard that the
company was doing some business in China with CSR. If they wanted any-one to
go over, I would be available. I found out about four months later that I
could go. When I finally went, I was in Beijing, for the first few weeks, I
was looking for a local Christian meeting for ex-pats. I went to the Chinese
church (not underground) but could not understand a thing. As I was about to
leave, I saw this American guy, and asked him if he knew of any meetings. He
directed me to the Sino-Japanese theatre where all the faiths met together.
I got there just as it was finishing and made my way to the front to
introduce myself to one of the Pastors. He invited me to lunch at TGIF's and
when I got there, who should I sit down beside.....Susan. I was very
impressed with her when I first met her, she was very sweet and had a gentle
spirit. We didn't actually go out for a few months as I had quite forgotten
the vision. (Only after we were married, did God remind me, you know how He
does that.) It took about three months to get the visa, we were told six. We were only married for a week and I had to go back to Australia,for those three months.
When I went back, we were in Guan Zhou and we recieved a phone call from a girl in Biejing telling Susan not to come back to Beijing as 'they' were looking for her, then she hung up without revealing who she was. 'They' were the P.S.B. the secret police. A korean guy had been arrested with videos and photos of Susan interpreting for American missionaries to the underground Church. They beat him every day for
about two months then deported him. If they got Susan, she would probably be
dead now. We decided to go through Hong Kong by bus from Guang Zhou (Canton)
where we were staying. When we got to the border crossing, everbody else on
the bus went straight through. When Susan gave them her passport, they
looked at each other and took off for their office to ring up. Everything
had been stamped a dozen times by all the appropriate departments, and her
visa was legal and she was also married to me, so they didn't have anything
to hold us on, also, as we planned, there was nobody of any authority around
that late at night, so when they came back, they gave her a dirty look, threw her passport down on the desk and reluctantly let us through. We thought our worries were over, but as we we were going throughng Kong border, I had a nail gun in Susan's suitcase, it looked like a gun on the x-ray machine. I had already gone through and they wouldn't let mw wait for her. When it took so long, I went back around and they had her bailed up and asking her questions about something she didn't even know anything about, I quickly explained what it was and they let us go on our way. It's great the way God works isn't it, not only did He find me a wife, but He saved the life of His faithful servant Susan. I still wonder that out of 1.1 billion people, God could lead me to the very girl in the vision. And that's how I
found my wife. Don't we serve a great God and friend, I just love Him!!! See ya later, sorry for the long story, Peter.

Home

2004-05-17T23:50:00.000+10:00

Home

Home really is where the heart is, even though my eventual home is in heaven, for the mean-time, it is with my God-given family. When I am with my lovely wife and three beautiful daughters, then that is home. Even now, my 19 month old daughter Kate, is peeking around the door to see if I will chase her off to bed, which I do, with her squealing with delight , all the way. Only to come out again and again. Home is a place that I have no inhibitions, if I walk around in the morning with my hair sticking up like a cocky's nest, nobody criticizes , if I want to sit around and do nothing, or get up and mow the lawns or work on the house, I am accepted as I am. I am free to be me, with-out having to put on airs or graces, or dress in a certain way. Home, a place to relax your image and be natural. Sometimes there is some difficulties, our 4 yr old will not eat her dinner, if she does, it takes her hours to finish, then it's all cold and yukky. My wife. Susan, is very frustrated with her and has tried everything from bribes to punishment to try to make her eat, all to little or no avail. Tonight it was my turn, and I always remember a time when I was a child and my father was about to give me a belting with his belt, and he said to me," this is gonna hurt me more than it's gonna hurt you.", I thought " Oh yeah!! Sure!!!" Now I understand, I told her that I would count to ten and then, if she hadn't swallowed her food, then I would give her a smack, and then I would count to ten again and another smack. She got really upset, and even though the smacks weren't very hard, it was the counting that really got her upset. Eventually she did swallow it, but she looked so pitiful, it really breaks you heart. After her bath, and she went to bed, she got her favorite book ( The three little pigs ) and hopped up in my lap and snuggled in to me to look at the pictures. I felt healed of my hurt and gave her a good cuddle. Where else can you be down and up in half an hour and feel all warm and fuzzy inside except for home. The eldest girl Ellie, who is 6 yrs old, is so talented and could be anything she sets her mind to, everthing she does, she excels at, but is so humble with it, she just does her best and tries to enjoy it. But is still a little girl sometimes, I like that. I have nearly finished building a house on my own, even the brickwork and I am a carpenter. It has taken over three years in my spare time, but is just a building at the moment, I can't wait until I have all my family there to make it a home.

Daylight dawns.

2004-05-10T22:52:00.000+10:00

It occurred to me today that even though I know God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit intimately, and have had a very close relationship in the past. It seems now that even though I have a very good knowledge of God and His ways, I no longer share that fellowship that I once enjoyed so much. Now I know God but I don't have that close, personal relationship any-more. I know God is faithful, full of grace and love, and that He loves to bless His children, but even when I have time to pray, it takes a lot of effort to even get started. Then I only pray for a few minutes and allow my-self to get distracted. I still love to read God's word every day, but don't talk to Him as much as I should. Sometimes I could go for days without even speaking to Him. I feel guilty about this, knowing how God has blessed me.I feel like the Israelites after they have entered the promised land they grew fat and lazy and forgot about God, a bit like Psalm 78. The Lord has supplied all my needs and blessed me beyond measure, more than I could ever have imagined. I may not be rich compared to some, but I have three beautiful daughters that adore me, and a good and faithful wife who has a quiet and gentle spirit. I have a job that will probably see me long past retirement age and been blessed with excellent skills. Even though I work hard, there is nothing I want, all my needs are fulfilled by His grace. When I deserved death, He was faithful and forgave me, He took me from a life of self indulgence to a life of freedom. Now, how do I repay Him? By giving thanks and praise for my deliverance? Na! God, please forgive me and create a clean heart and restore that right Spirit in me again. I miss that closeness, I thought that I have no needs, that I wanted to know you in a new way, that I could love you without always asking you for my needs sake, now I know that that cannot be, well not in my case anyway. Jesus, I need to drink of that water again and again, please fill me again. I have no needs except Jesus, I need Him every minute of the day, He is my need! That's it!!! I think I'm beginning to understand!! Yes Lord!!!

Dreams and visions

2004-05-07T00:10:00.000+10:00

I have only ever had an 'open vision' that I can remember. I was at work installing a kitchen, and I was in front of the stove space, and I saw it. The Lord showed me a vine-yard and all the vines wert over-grown and a lot of dead vines on them. The trellises were falling over and there was a lot of weeds growing around the vines and underneath them. The Lord told me to straighten it all up and prune the vines and pull out the weeds and burn them. So that's what I did, and when I piled them all up,(the weeds etc.) and straightened up the trellises and trimmed the vines, dug around the roots and loosened the ground to allow the water to penetrate and I was standing there leaning on my rake burning the rubbish, when the Lord came again, He said that this was my part of the vineyard and I was to look after it Then He took me up in the air, and the higher I got, the more of the vineyard I could see. My part was only a very small part of a very very big vineyard. Which, of course, is all other believers, the Lord then said to me that every person that I meet are part of my vineyard. And so it is for all Christians, everybody you meet are part of your vineyard, whether they are saved or not. Then it ended and after a few minutes I got back to work.

A double edged sword.

2004-05-04T00:03:00.000+10:00

We are told that God's word is like a two edged sword. We can see that, when sin comes on the scene. The enemy uses God's word as a professional, it says in 1Cor. 15 that the sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. ( thank goodness it says after that that we have the victory through Jesus Christ, through confession of that sin). Satan can do nothing that God does not allow him to do, he couldn't touch Job without God's permission, and it says in Revelation that he stands before God and accuses us for our sins. But we have an advocate, Jesus. How-ever, if we don't confess our sins, or faults, it leaves us open to the judgement of God, that is, God's word. God does not change, His penalties for sin are clearly written in the Bible, they are not new. He doesn't take the vengeance on us, but sin brings a curse and Satan has God's permission by using His word, to bring that curse to pass in our lives. That is why it is so important to confess your sin, even every day. Also go back over your life and confess everything that you consider to be a sin, there could be a curse attached to it that is still bugging you today. Even if some-one has sinned against you, here is where the double edged sword comes in, you sin, when you get angry and bitter and vengeful. That person will have to stand before God on the day of judgement and be judged for their sin, and if you allow your sin to remain, so will you. You see, the Word of God cuts both ways, thanks to the enemy. We are to take Jesus' example in 1 Peter 2, where He opened not His mouth and went as a sheep to the slaughter, He was accused wrongfully, He was innocent, and even as they were murdering Him, He prayed for their deliverance, He didn't get angry or bitter. Satan was not getting advantage of Him, Jesus knew the game the enemy played, but we fall for it every day. Wake up Church, I speak to myself too, follow the example of your Lord, don't let sin take advantage of you and bring that curse on your life, it could even pass onto your children till the fourth generation. (EX.20) Satan is an expert, he will draw you away with your own lusts , cause you to sin, then, when full grown, gives birth to death, the ultimate curse. All sin brings a little death to your life and spirit, but , thanks be to God, we have the victory through Jesus Christ. So use that new agreement ( Covenant) that we have with God through Jesus, make use of the saving grace that we have recieved and cleanse ourselves for God to use us for His good.

Unsatisfied?

2004-05-03T23:22:00.000+10:00

Sounds like a lot of Christians are unsatisfied with the religion being dished up to us each Sunday. I love good worship, but I also love good teaching, it is hard to find a church that has both, or doesn't have a parallel agenda, e.g. building a new church building. I too, go to get something from Church, and if I don't get fed spiritually, I feel ripped off. When I was in China, I had the opportunity to teach some underground pastors on the Spiritual gifts. These guys, and two young girls, 17-18 yrs. did not have much knowledge about the bible, or much teaching, but they all had a simple love that just blew me out. They were so humble, and when they asked me to pray for them, they got on their knees to receive an anointing as if from Jesus Himself. I thought that these guys should be praying for me. Their love for Jesus was astounding. I heard of one group that cried for three days because Jesus died for them and it broke their hearts. I think that it spoiled me for the western church experience, now I will never be satisfied with all the pomp, give me the simple relationship with a Savior and a friend.

I wonder why?

2004-05-01T00:16:00.000+10:00

I wonder why He called me, I wonder if one of my ancestors prayed for me or something, I'm so glad that God is faithful and really does supply all my needs, not necessarily my wants. Though He has done that too, when I first got saved, I told God that I wanted an XR 600, brand new for $4000. New price was about $7000 at the time. Lo and behold, there was one advertised in a small country paper, I was living about 50 kms away, and it was two weeks old for exactly $4000 dollars. When I went to see it, it had been re-jetted and worked and was in excellent condition and no-one had even looked at it. That was awsome, one of God's first favours to me. Again I told God that if He wanted me to stay in Port Macquarie then I want a house. Two days later, I got a letter in the mail saying that I could have a cheap government loan if I wanted it. When I went to find it about it, they said that they didn't know how I got a letter as I wasn't even on the list. They said that I could re-apply, so I did, and in three days they said that I had till the next Monday to get all my particulars in, I wasn't even in town at the time as I was away working. Nevertheless, I got people to fax all r\the information in and I got the loan, and built my first house. God is great, now I am building my second house, and God found this land for us too. No-one had looked at it and as soon as I saw it I said we would buy it. We paid $227,000 for it when a block around the corner went for $335,000. Again I (we ) asked for God's favour when we were looking for it. One thing I have realised, you have to expect God's favour to get it. I believe it's called faith. If you don't have the faith to believe for something, just believe that God is faithful, don't try to "name it and claim it", or work yourself up to a frenzy , trying to believe for something. Just ask God, according to His word, ( find a scripture that applies to your situation), remind Him of these scriptures and trust Him to be faithful to His word. You really don't need any more faith than to believe that God doesn't lie and that He is faithful. We are told to let our requests known with thanksgiving, so let God know of your needs then thank Him for it...every day!

2004-05-01T00:13:00.000+10:00

Has Hell started yet?

2004-05-01T00:08:00.000+10:00

One thing I wonder about is if Hell is happening now, somehow, I don't think it is. It seems to me, that there is a place that the fallen angels are being held, but all men that have died on the earth, are still in their graves waiting the resurrection of the dead. Likewise those, that most believe, have gone to heaven, they too, wait for the resurrection. The bible says that in the twinkling of an eye we will be changed... It says " For in Adam all die,so in Christ all will be made alive. But each in his own turn, Christ, the first fruits and then, when He comes, those that belong to Him." At the last trumpet, the dead are raised imperishable, and we will all be changed. I think that even as to the Lord, a day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day, so when you die, in the blink of an eye,( or a twinkling ), you will be standing in front of the judgment seat, though in our time it may be a thousand years, in God's time, well, there is no division of time, that was made for earth when He created it. So I think that even if you died a thousand years ago, or within the next ten years, you will not precede those before or after you, but we will arrive at the same time. Hell, as we know it, seems to be a lake of fire, probably molten rock, and if you think about it, would you stick your arm in a bucket of molten rock for three seconds, I don't think anybody would. But those that deny Christ, will be thrown in that molten rock for ever, Hell is not a long week-end, but forever, in suffering and torment. Quite sobering when you consider it. I just thank God that He allowed me to find Jesus, even giving me many chances after turning back to the world again and again.

Real love

2004-04-27T21:35:00.000+10:00

I am so grateful for what Jesus did for me on the cross, through His obedience, He suffered an extroadinary punishment that wasn't His. He didn't have to, but, through love for God and man, He went to the cross and was murdered. The suffering must have been intense, not to mention the separation from His Father when He became 'sin' for us.
Some years ago, I wondered why God would allow man to do such a terrible thing to His son. Then, (it was before I became a Christian), I was engaged to a girl who was unfaithful to me and became pregnant to some-one else. She told me when she was about 6 weeks pregnant, I was furious and wanted to kill the other guy, except I didn't know where he lived. That is another story, but I stayed with her until the boy was nearly three. I loved him as my son, as it was more than possible that he was, even the blood tests said that he was. When we separated, he was so upset that he ran around the house all night, crying and calling out for me to come home. It really broke my heart to leave. My 'ex' said that we could get back together if I gave up this religion. (I had gotten baptised and filled with the Spirit), but I knew that if I turned my back on God again.......but that's another story. One thing (of many) that God showed me was how though He loved His son so much, He gave Him over to death for the world He loved. I know how I felt, how my heart was breaking for my son, even though my love was flawed. But God, the Father, must have felt so much more, when His son was so brutally beaten and killed. I don't think there would be one father on earth that could possibly allow his son to die for the sins of others, especially such a cruel death. You probably couldn't appreciate it as much if you don't have children, I now have three beautiful daughters, and could never see myself giving them as a sacrifice for the sins of people like Osama Bin Laden or Saddam Hussein, or any of their followers, but God did that with His beautiful, perfect son. He even died for THEM, all they have to do is accept Him as their sacrifice for their sins. But what incredible love is that, so great, that I can't fathom it at all. When I dwell on that scipture, John 3:16, I can't help but cry, especially if I'm trying to explain the Fathers love to some-one else. How He so loved the world, that He gave His only Son.

Amazed

2004-04-24T23:30:00.000+10:00

It never ceases to amaze me how each one of us can have a personal relationship with Jesus. Sometimes, I look at a huge gathering of Christians, and wonder about their individual experience with the Saviour. how they first got to know the Lord and how He revealed Himself to them. I have had quite an extroardinary experience in knowing and experiencing Jesus, but it has been also a very personal thing. I have had a number of supernatural experiences, from both good and bad, yet it is not something that you generally talk about. I wonder about the experiences that others have had and yet keep it private, lest they be thought foolish. It is probably a shame that we don't acknowledge the supernatural a lot more than we do, perhaps if we did, we wouldn't be so worldly, maybe, when we see others having similar experiences, we might not be afraid of what people might say or think. That we are not crazy for having strange dreams, or having the Lord talk to us, but that it an expected thing, the norm and not the unusual. Perhaps then, more Christians would be open to the spiritual side of life and ask God to reveal more to them. In Mark 4:22 it says "Nothing is hidden that won't be manifested, nor is anything secret that won't be told." Then Jesus goes on to say "that if any man has ears to hear, let him hear.and take heed what you hear, with what measure you meet, it will be measured to you and unto you that hear, more shall be given." When I read this some years ago, I decided to knock down my walls of belief and told the Lord that I would be open to anything that He wanted to reveal to me and not be corralled by my pre-concieved ideas, (that were probably not even my own anyway). As far as the east to the west, from the north to the south, from the highest high, to the deepest low, I would listen and not doubt and try to understand what He was showing me. I would test it against the scriptures and if it panned out, I would drop it and go on. What supernatural experiences are you willing to allow the Lord to show you, or are you willing to share with the unsaved, the ones that you have already had?

2004-04-17T00:09:00.002+10:00

Friday, April 16, 2004
I don't think that any-body can be 'like' Jesus, we have all had different life experiences and would certainly not have gone through the hardships that He went through. I do believe that we can be 'one' with Him, that is to have the same Spirit, same will, same desire, same dream, same goals,same Father. In Genesis, we are told that we are made in the 'image' of God, or 'likeness' or in the same manner. God created the man Adam, but Eve was taken from Adam and was a separate person. In marriage, we are told, they/we become one flesh, or person and all that includes. This, I believe, is the 'mystery of marriage' when two become one, it is the same as the Trinity, Jesus was not created like all the angels, He was taken from God as Eve was taken from Adam. Two separate persons, but came together to form one person having or sharing the same Spirit. God the Father and Jesus are perfectly one in the Holy Spirit. Now we also can be one with God in the Same Spirit. When we choose to make Jesus our Lord and Saviour, and are baptized and filled with His Spirit, we become one with Him and with the Father. We can choose to walk in this Spirit, or walk in our own spirit and we know how marriages fail when a husband or wife walks in their own spirit instead of the new one that they share in the bond of marriage. They usually fail or are very unhappy relationships. Not only do we need to choose to walk in the spirit of that one-ness with our spouse, we also need to choose to walk in the Spirit of one-ness with our new husband, Jesus. I believe that when we are walking in that one-ness with Jesus and in that Spirit, then we will be made perfect in that love the things that we did in part, will pass away, we will no longer see through a glass darkly as we will know exactly what the Spirit wants us to do or say. Of course we need to be prepared to lay down our life for Him,(and hope that he would protect us), to be bold for Him and not afraid. I can honestly say that I have been in that situation while I was single, one of the benefits of being single, and you are always in the right place at the right time. Now that I am married and have three beautiful girls, and a wife, truly chosen by God, (He showed me a vision of her 8 months before we met), my road is much wider and many more responsibilities.

2004-04-17T00:09:00.001+10:00

Thursday, April 15, 2004
Saved by Grace, an unworthy sinner, bought by the Son, walking inthe favour of the Father.

2004-04-17T00:09:00.000+10:00

Tuesday, April 13, 2004
I have not walked as close to the Lord as I should have been, as a matter of fact, I feel as though I have turned my back on Him sometimes. I have been so busy building a new house, then there's work and after that, the family, then I have to do office work, (though not much), I do read the Bible most days, but I haven't had a good prayer session in tongues for some time. It was made clear to me recently, by the Lord, how we stray and how the enemy takes control of our lives. It begins by him getting us distracted, as a matter of fact, I would even say that all people that do not fulfill their destiny, are following a distraction of the enemy. First, he, (the enemy), tempts you with something that he knows is your weakness, he won't even bother to attack your strengths, then as you partake of that temptation, you feel ashamed and turn away from the Lord. Not only do you feel ashamed, but you also want to experience more of the temptation as it makes your flesh feel good. Kind of like McDonalds, feels good while you eat it, but makes you feel yukky later. If the enemy can keep you in that shame, he can take you further and further away from the Lord. It is really really hard to repent and confess as a sin, something that you really enjoy, even though that will bring you freedom. You actually prefer to be bound in that sin as it is a kind of comfort to you. I would say that the greatest temptation for men in this age, is pornography. So many of us used to wallow in it when we were in the world, and for the single man, it is very difficult to avoid, and even more difficult to overcome, especially when shame sets in. I know that this is my weak point, and recently came across something on the TV that I watched for too long. I got pleasure from watching it, but felt guilty for allowing myself to linger too long. I know that I needed to repent, but also knew that I wanted to look at that program again. I was trying to justify myself to see it again and then repent, but I know better than that. So I went into warfare against this demon that was trying to lure me away and repented. I made up my mind to get that station removed from the cable tv that we have and rang the next day to cancel. I found out that it was only on promotion for a week and was free, but ran out that day. I am glad that I made the decision to repent before it was removed and not after the fact. Through this, God has taught me that the enemy is always trying to distract us, always!!! So now I walk around saying "don't be distracted...don't be distracted..." even when I am driving, it is amazing , it makes you realise how many times the enemy tries to distract you in your work, to cause you to make mistakes, or when your driving, or even to watch to much TV and take you from family time. he truly is a thief, a murderer and a liar. So beware, DON'T BE DISTRACTED.